Monday, May 24, 2010

We walk in and you are 'talking'. And very loudly, might I add. I watch as Shelby and then Brody pass by the others in the waiting room. Eyes take a glance then they are back to the magazine that they are reading.....until you walk by.

That's when they forget how rude they are to stare, how much I'd like to walk over and attack....I mean pray with them. These strangers seem curious, bewildered, uneasy. 

I check you in at the front desk and you begin to wonder toward them....as you always do. They do not know that I am watching, that I see every shifty eye movement, the look of panic on their faces like you have leprosy or something.

Shelby tries to call you back to the other sitting area, but you love people...love to make connections with them...love to smile at them...love to blow zerberts in the air in an attempt to get their attention. Well, you have it alright. Their undivided, yet fearful attention.

Like a very strong magnet, they are unable to keep their judgmental eyes off of you. None of them offer a 'hello', so what then are they thinking? Are they scared for their lives to try to talk to you, not knowing what to do with a nonverbal yet vocal child with a slight limp. 

Are they thinking, 'what in the world is wrong with her?' or 'so glad my kid isn't like that'. Some even have a look of disgust, as if they can't believe they have to share a room with someone with disabilities.

And what gets me is that they don't even care that they are doing this. That their body language is that of discomfort. Shelby can see that some are staring. She, who loves you in all of your insufficiencies; your inability to run, talk, play house, read, bathe, skip, or a number of other things, gets fiery mad when others offer that look of disdain from their thrones of superiority. She doesn't mind giving them a 'certain' look in return. Although I have had to 'hold her back' at times, I am proud that she defends you and loves you so.

They are just strangers, they are uneducated, they are ignorant to it all.

There's no need to argue, strangers just don't understand.

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